Ugly Crier

I looked in the mirror about 30 minutes ago and thought, "Woah, you are an ugly crier." I just don't have that gift that some girls have where that natural red glow on my cheeks and glistening tears makes you want to walk up to the me and smile and tell me it's going to be ok. No,... one look at my crying face and you'll hand me some mascara and some foundation and tell me to go to the bathroom and get cleaned up. "Why the tears" you ask? I'd like to talk about 3 things that I have learned about loneliness. Things that have made my tears go away very quickly. 

1) There are times in life when you will feel alone. Because you are. And it's ok.

You may experience a death in your family, a loss of a relationship, a devastating blow to your self esteem, a bad report from a doctor, a job loss, unexplainable depression, etc and you look around and you're all alone. People will offer to lend an ear, go to lunch, have a coffee date, text you on a whim and that's all good and fine. But at the end of the day when everyone is gone and your kid is in bed, it's just you. It sounds like I'm being depressing and "woe is me" but just wait... I'm not.

I say that I looked in the mirror 30 minutes ago because that's when I finally realized my face was sticky from the make-up I had cried off about an hour earlier. It's also when I had finished my 10 second prayer that sounded something like this, "Lord, please help me tonight. I'm struggling and I know you care. Just show me that you do." I can't tell you exactly when it happened but I felt peace not long after. Even though I was alone, I felt peace that came because I asked God. Yes I was alone but I had to make a choice: make the best of my loneliness and let the peace of God fill some of my aches OR... allow myself to get depressed. My advice, chose option number 1. 

2) It's very important not to be upset with other people when your alone. 

Life isn't fair sometimes. It's just not. But the more you get bitter because other peoples lives go on and yours seems completely still... the slower it actually gets. Bitterness won't give you a fighting chance in moving forward. If someone else tried to help you live your life or get you back on your feet every 10 seconds then you wouldn't have to do it yourself. Therefore you wouldn't get any stronger and you won't be someone who is useful to the Kingdom of God. That's not to imply that you don't need help or that support isn't necessary because it's crucial and so important to finding your strength. However, if you rely solely on others to always be there for you, you'll find yourself in a constant state of disappointment. Why? Because that's a spot in your heart, mind, spirit and emotions that only God can fill. So let Him. 

Stop being bitter because your alone. With patience, a vice of somekind: like chocolate or ice cream :), and prayer...you will make it. 

3) Don't sin in your loneliness. Acknowledge that the Enemy will use your vulnerability against you. 

Only you know what that might mean for you. There are hundreds of possibilities. But take those temptations or lack of disciplines and replace them with self-control. 

The Bible tells us something mind-blowing about loneliness: Jesus welcomed lonely environments. It gave him an opportunity to be alone with God. Luke 5:16, "But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed." He could have prayed in front of his disciples in some small group Bible study. He could have prayed in the tabernacle church while the worship was going on. He could have prayed at a house party where someone got healed and everyone celebrated... and in reality He's God so he probably did all of those things. But the Bible tells us he sought lonely places...a lot... so he could pray. 

Loneliness can be your friend or your enemy and if we have the strength and discipline then it can draw us closer to God. There's not a sweeter more peaceful more tranquil environment then when you're wrapped up in the peace of God and overcome by His love only to realize that you're in love with Him...and you're the only body in the room. 

Some of the strongest people I know have gone through some gut-wrenching things and were extremely alone. They're also the most compassionate, godly, attractive, wise, bold, confident and assertive people I know. I think God gives us an opportunity to conquer loneliness so that we will allow Him to meet us in some of our darkest places.

The lonely times can be a blessing if you let them be. They really can. Accept that loneliness can change your life and change who you are. Direct your attention to your Creator and let Him love on you. No matter what sins you've committed or what sin's have been committed against you, the Bible tells us, "He will never leave us nor forsake us." Meaning, you'll never be truly lonely when you have the Lord as the love of your life. 

Welcome Loneliness.